Monday, December 29, 2008

The True Story of the Epic Battle of the Gas Pump

(accept no imitations from other blogs! and enjoy the self produced animation :D)

This is the epic story of two people locked in the eternal struggle between who pays for the gas at the gas station.
It all started this evening after a long day of working in the Graingers, I went to pick up some friends from the airport.  Of course, being really nice they both offered to play for gas (in different ways) but since I also went to see my grandma it was under my own prerogative that I went, I was not spending any extra gas for travel.
Now for the main event: 
My car was devoid of gasoline after many trips to and from Provo over the holiday, so as I returned to the apartment complex and lugged the girls' luggage to their third floor apartment, I headed off toward the Chevron so that I could replenish my low stores of petroleum.
Natalia was kind enough to agree to accompany me to the gas station, and as we pulled into the station she asked for my wallet... a strange request in my opinion, but soon I understood her intentions.
She grabbed my arm as I reached for my wallet, which I was still able to extract from my pocket with the other but then she wouldn't let me leave the car... after a short struggle, I freed myself from her grip and the car.  I thought that this would be the end of the struggle, but I was wrong... dead wrong.
As I started toward the pump with my debit card in hand, I was blindsided by the flying fury of Natalia as she began the epic struggle for the credit card swiper.  I blocked her with the car and my body but she fought for the high ground, but I maintained my position and closed in on the prized swiping machine.  She grabbed me around the middle and at every lunge I attempted she countered with a ferocious tug, but finally I achieved my goal! the card was in!!! 
But to my dismay as I pulled the card from it's electronic sheath the screen showed a bright blow to my cause: the card had not read... (dun dun daaaaaah!!!)
As Natalia gloated in her momentary victory, I began to improve my defenses while still accomplishing my task.  I began the second assault on the machine with fervor while applying my skills acquired from years of basketball to keep Natalia from victory.
The second attempt was more quickly successful, I was even able to cancel the request for a car wash, but as I reached for the nozzle, Natalia quick as a cat hit the cancel button.  
Once again, the seemingly eternal struggle for the pump began  for the third round, ('ding' FIGHT!)  By this time I was beginning to develop a system that seemed to work quite well, quickly I began to slide the card into the victory slot.  I also quickly got the car wash button, and began to work towards the nozzle... this time she pushed the call cashier for assistance button! (by this time the lady in the white car behind us was probably watching with concern). Thusly I was able to get the nozzle off and start making stabs at the button to choose my level of ethanol... unfortunately her second desperate bid to stop the transaction was successful.
Well the next and final attempt was even more heatedly contested, I finally triumphed in all aspects of the contest!!! 
As the title states it was a battle of epic proportions!!! 
And I TRIUMPHED!!!
This was a legendary battle! the stuff of legend...
and there is no charge for awesomeness!!!

17 comments:

  1. This makes me utterly and unbelieveably happy! My little brother went as far as to use the word, giddy. I think the pictures really push your case in the matter. I would LOVE to have seen this struggle in real life. Thanks for such a great epic story!

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  2. There are several reasons I love this entry:

    1) I got my own tag!
    2) The illustrations made me laugh so hard my coworkers gave me strange looks.
    3) I love that you called the credit card hole the "victory slot."
    4) I was likened unto a cat (which, of course, reminds me of other stories. . .)

    For those of you who don't know both of us: his grandmother lives considerably south of the Salt Lake City airport. This meant that he really *was* going out of his way to pick us up for the airport. In addition, there was a two hour break between flights that he had to lounge about and sit in a car and eat food from a restaurant (instead of from home).

    Congratulations on your (temporary) success.

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  3. Natalia, maybe you were a cat in another life. I'm sure that's why were such good friends. This story is even better in real life. Clark shows his victories by raising his arms in victory and says, "I went like this, but in my mind because I still had to go like this [here he resumes his defensive postitiom] to hold her off. But I went like this in my mind [He does his victory sign again]." That was the best part.

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  4. 1) thank you becca for validating my awesome live performance of the fight.
    as for a rebutal on what natalia said:
    it wasn't very far out of the way to get to the airport, I would have probably eaten out anyway, heather and I got to listen to cool music and catch up on the holiday break goings-ons (oddly the cool music stopped when natalia got in the car and we had to switch to a CD, and she lied about when her flight was coming in... subconsciously)
    My victory is absolute and will not be relinquished!!!

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  5. That's true--it was the best part. We should have recorded it for posterity's sake.

    See how much traffic your blog is getting? You should have epic battles more often! ;)

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  6. I did *not* lie about when my flight was coming in, as proved by my e-mail notice to the both of you! And it was a cool CD anyway--you know I'd rather listen to cool music, maybe all the DJs shift changes were at the exact same time that I got in the car!

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  7. Also, why is your blog time set to Pacific?

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  8. it is central time, I started my gmail account while on my mission... so google thinks I am a texan! I am awesome!

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  9. I swear I was counting the right way. . .Well, I am posting this at approximately 2:15 pm. So if it were on central, it should say 3:15 (give or take a couple of minutes).

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  10. Nope, sorry hon, it thinks you're on the west coast. Road trip to CA! ;)

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  11. I love the fact that Natalia will continue with new comments even though the others were not yet responded to. I think you should road trip to OR instead of CA!!! :)

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  12. Well, they both are on the ocean. ;D

    And everyone knows they want to go to Kansas! ;D

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  13. Ew. I do *not* want to go to Kansas. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I only travel through that state to get to better places!

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  14. What does the halo have to do with anything?

    Kristen: I'd visit you any day, if I had a car that could make the trip. :D

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  15. Oh, nothing. Just thought everyone needed a reminder that I am innocent. ;D

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  16. Natalia: I know you would! It would be so much fun! Especially with Jessica too! That would be troubly fun!

    Fred: I think you would have fun in Oregon too because there are beautiful places to take amazing pictures...and not just blurry ones of your sister.

    Kralc: Sorry that we have taken over your blog! Sure is nice of you though :)

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